He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
