So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
