I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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