i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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