He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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