"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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