dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
