I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
