i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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