Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
