I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
MIDGETS
????
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
