Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
