Buhtt sex?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
