i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it's like heaven, but drunker
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
