i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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