so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
