She's JV to your varsity
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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