Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
