What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
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I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
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You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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