Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
