he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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