I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
