Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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