I wish I only lived at night.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
