Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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