i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
