is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
