mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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