honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
