My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
what day is it and did you see me today?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
