people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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