just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
