I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
