I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
