I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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