I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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