i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize