P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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