with your own penis?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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