Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
