So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I FOUND THE LEGS
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