woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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