Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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