Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
