It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night