dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.