it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
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Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.