Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.

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  (904): Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/aofb
  Replies (11) Good night (770) Bad night (3772)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"

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  (301): My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock" http://tfl.nu/tlon
  Replies (53) Good night (9837) Bad night (970)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

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  (865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010. http://tfl.nu/w6c7
  Replies (11) Good night (6001) Bad night (704)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

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  (412): His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'. http://tfl.nu/510f
  Replies (26) Good night (5199) Bad night (2186)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.

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  (352): Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break. http://tfl.nu/4l91
  Replies (11) Good night (4333) Bad night (935)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...

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  (757): hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found... http://tfl.nu/titb
  Replies (16) Good night (9931) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?

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  (856): The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand (1-856): We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh? http://tfl.nu/4r62
  Replies (10) Good night (969) Bad night (5290)
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  (916): View more from California

  she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?

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  (916): she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now? http://tfl.nu/pv3x
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (2656)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.

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  (313): I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6. http://tfl.nu/0yci
  Replies (13) Good night (1786) Bad night (2165)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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  (269): We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all. http://tfl.nu/epk0
  Replies (4) Good night (1867) Bad night (841)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1680) Bad night (643)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"

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  (513): You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea" http://tfl.nu/kx8t
  Replies (7) Good night (2076) Bad night (645)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about

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  (860): Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about http://tfl.nu/vmss
  Replies (3) Good night (312) Bad night (523)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."

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  (+61): I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows." http://tfl.nu/omr4
  Replies (4) Good night (1384) Bad night (365)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha

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  (440): I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha http://tfl.nu/do0h
  Replies (0) Good night (590) Bad night (248)

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