Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  O no, u 2 are dating again?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture

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  (760): O no, u 2 are dating again? (503): No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture http://tfl.nu/e7yu
  Replies (7) Good night (1067) Bad night (2324)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move

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  (617): Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move http://tfl.nu/h692
  Replies (54) Good night (681) Bad night (3163)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I see a marketing opportunity

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  (703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off! (1-703): I see a marketing opportunity http://tfl.nu/gn9o
  Replies (61) Good night (4656) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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  (815): I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value. http://tfl.nu/83po
  Replies (14) Good night (4794) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

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  (616): I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico. http://tfl.nu/ms4f
  Replies (8) Good night (5128) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.

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  (805): Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren. http://tfl.nu/c1hy
  Replies (3) Good night (2395) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.

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  (559): Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on. http://tfl.nu/nei9
  Replies (7) Good night (1079) Bad night (1633)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser

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  (201): surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser http://tfl.nu/4p89
  Replies (5) Good night (545) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.

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  (647): I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole. http://tfl.nu/34zc
  Replies (2) Good night (1512) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

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  (902): I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged. http://tfl.nu/u3dy
  Replies (5) Good night (1006) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"

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  (814): Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!" http://tfl.nu/rgls
  Replies (7) Good night (427) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.

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  (650): Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what. http://tfl.nu/elzg
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event

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  (559): You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event http://tfl.nu/bllo
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan

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  (254): And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan http://tfl.nu/1xmj
  Replies (7) Good night (1055) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?

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  (734): It's been awhile, you pregnant yet? http://tfl.nu/3ukk
  Replies (2) Good night (210) Bad night (428)

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