I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?