Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.

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  (604): I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone. http://tfl.nu/1vtw
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (2032)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i will never coherently bang her

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  (207): i will never coherently bang her http://tfl.nu/z0d8
  Replies (6) Good night (751) Bad night (3105)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS

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  (309): I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS http://tfl.nu/kfbo
  Replies (6) Good night (3706) Bad night (757)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
  Replies (37) Good night (4300) Bad night (794)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.

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  (215): Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes. http://tfl.nu/s26z
  Replies (8) Good night (1876) Bad night (1554)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.

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  (203): Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle. http://tfl.nu/td6t
  Replies (6) Good night (2665) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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  (352): You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time. http://tfl.nu/k82l
  Replies (10) Good night (2402) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.

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  (832): I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob. http://tfl.nu/r18w
  Replies (5) Good night (1529) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  How small IS your cock?

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  (315): Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing. (1-315): How small IS your cock? http://tfl.nu/y2pr
  Replies (6) Good night (1553) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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  (614): Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other http://tfl.nu/gfjj
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus

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  (727): This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus http://tfl.nu/9e56
  Replies (8) Good night (783) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.

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  (215): tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours. http://tfl.nu/k3ze
  Replies (9) Good night (1106) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway

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  (317): My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway http://tfl.nu/1ukz
  Replies (11) Good night (557) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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  (774): preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/6ehv
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.

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  (727): The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now. http://tfl.nu/gkpn
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (219)

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