out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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