She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
