we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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