my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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