she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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