Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
