I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
