Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
