How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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