k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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