Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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