Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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