I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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