The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
