just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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