i will never coherently bang her
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
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I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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