She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
