can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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