Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
